There have been a lot of times where I say to myself that I just have to move on, and focus on my work. That's the only thing that matters. To look forward and put my energy in my work. If something's not panning out, in the end it doesn't matter - the work survives.
There's a certain amount of comfort and esteem in thinking like this - at least there was, for me.
But recently I thought about how thinking like this is only causing me strain - how it's unhealthy. If there's a problem, I wouldn't have to know why - I'd just forget about it and continue with my work. It's not appealing any more.
I was at last year's Toronto Small Press Book Fair, but I didn't go this year. I was worried that it would be the same people, doing the same thing - that it wouldn't be a new experience any more. The same audience and the same writers. I don't mean to call down the Fair, though. And this is where a flaw of mine comes into play - I shouldn't be worried about the same things. There was a large potential for new opportunities but I didn't see them, I only saw what was potentially negative.
I was going to mention something else, but I can't remember. I still haven't taught myself to immediately jot down what comes to my mind all the time. I do it most of the time, but haven't now...