The News.

Today I read in the news about Ronnie Biggs, one of the main criminals of the Great Train Robbery back in 1963. He's getting released from prison due to his ailing health in his old age.
The article I read described the robbery as 'daring'. At its end, it explained that Ronnie came back to England after escaping from jail and traveling the world, finishing off with his quote of how his 'last wish was to enter a pub as an Englishman and buy a pint of bitter'.
The article seemed to portray Biggs as a rapturous, whimsical ne'er-do-well with a wink in his eye, swooping down from a staircase and catching your woman along for the ride, leaving her breathless and exhilarated and stealing her away to exotic locales with his large fortune he acquired from his gutsy adventures you would never attempt to try, so timid are you. A real man, this Biggs - grown up from his days of bullying others at school and making all the girls secretly swoon, wanting to tame and change this wild Alpha Male.

So, fine. Sometimes I feel like I exist only to be ridiculed and/or imitated, as people respect and admire criminals and those who use others.
"You're his servant now".
"I lose interest in a man as soon as he begins to care for me."

Codes, games.

The boxer Arturo Gatti committed suicide recently and one of the speculated reasons was his problems with women.

What follows is a true anecdote. I was on the bus about a week ago and behind me were two elderly women talking about the affair with Arturo Gatti. I hate eavesdropping but I forgot my mp3 player and they were loud. One of them mentioned how Gatti's wife was plotting the whole thing.
"Women are evil", this elderly woman said. "My son had to deal with his wife divorcing him and taking his things..." She kept repeating it. "Women are evil". "Women are evil, my son had to deal with..."
One of Gatti's family members was quoted as saying "Even if he had problems with his wife, there were at least twenty other women waiting in line..."

There was a terrible shooting in Pittsburgh a few days ago and my condolences to everyone who was harmed by the tragedy.
The shooter had a website and on part of it he wrote about his long sufferings with women, which I think authorities believe was one of the reasons of his violence. He ended his website by saying "Death Lives".

Suicide and violence. I would never consider either.

"It doesn't hurt as much when you're young".
It will never hurt that much.

"Writers are the loneliest people in the world", Anais Nin wrote in her diary.

What can I say? I need a woman in my life, but aside from that?