There have been a lot of times where I say to myself that I just have to move on, and focus on my work. That's the only thing that matters. To look forward and put my energy in my work. If something's not panning out, in the end it doesn't matter - the work survives.
There's a certain amount of comfort and esteem in thinking like this - at least there was, for me.
But recently I thought about how thinking like this is only causing me strain - how it's unhealthy. If there's a problem, I wouldn't have to know why - I'd just forget about it and continue with my work. It's not appealing any more.

I was at last year's Toronto Small Press Book Fair, but I didn't go this year. I was worried that it would be the same people, doing the same thing - that it wouldn't be a new experience any more. The same audience and the same writers. I don't mean to call down the Fair, though. And this is where a flaw of mine comes into play - I shouldn't be worried about the same things. There was a large potential for new opportunities but I didn't see them, I only saw what was potentially negative.

I was going to mention something else, but I can't remember. I still haven't taught myself to immediately jot down what comes to my mind all the time. I do it most of the time, but haven't now...

Today I was thinking about how people can start from the bottom and be seen as unkempt and ugly, and then slowly rise from this muck and be considered prestigious and worthy and golden...do all of them deserve it?


I hope most future literature is based around social networking, because it most likely will in order to appeal to the widest audience it can in order to sell more books. At least the book industry isn't as shallow and trendy as perhaps the music industry - even though they're both considered arts/entertainment. That label Arts and Entertainment has always bothered me. As if a piece of art that was created to inspire and evoke brain matter is on the same level as shallow vicarious eye-candy entertainment. But it's too late to reverse the two words from becoming synonymous with each other, right? May as well get used to the relation because you can't reverse it...

It's funny how my generation is the first one to be born around computers, since they were integrated into my everyday life for as long as I can remember. Back when I was 9 - 10, computers were normal; we used Encarta to research topics we were studying in school. But this was before social networking. It's definitely important to be critical of it. In the 'developed' world more than other countries...

As you can tell, I don't have that much to say here.

RIP Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. You didn't influence me as much as others, but your impact is undeniable.

28 to 45, double-digit fixed income.

I should like to discuss three American cities that have always remained mysterious in my mind: Baltimore, Pittsburgh and Cincinnati.

I've never been to said cities. As a matter of fact the only American towns I've been to are Minneapolis, New York and Fargo. Yet B, P, and C are intriguing to me due to how I've built them up in my mind, starting from childhood. When I was seven to ten years old I collected baseball cards, and enjoyed the names and logos of their teams; the Orioles, the Pirates, and the Reds. I had an old Game Gear baseball game that I played frequently and all three of those teams were on there, cementing the cities in my memory. I never had a great urge to visit any of the cities, but they still interested me.

Thinking about them now, with the exception of Pittsburgh having a strong hockey team (but I'm never really sure of how large the role of hockey is in American consciousness - when Anaheim was playing Ottawa for the Cup a couple of years back, I jokingly remarked that the series was rigged so Anaheim would win due to how it's located in California, the most densely populated state in the US, and if California received the glory of the Stanley Cup it would exponentially increase interest/sales in NHL tickets and merchandise which would be strongly needed for the franchise because of loss of revenue from the previous lockout - but enough of sports theories. I actually rarely pay attention to sports, but still appreciate them from time to time), I don't really know much about them. I never hear anything about said cities in the news, and I haven't noticed anything based in or around them (aside from the sitcom WKRP in Cincinnati, but I'm not researching this so I'm not sure of other outlets. There's most likely a lot of history and achievement throughout the three cities, but I'm just discussing my initial thoughts). But without research, I can safely say that Baltimore is in Maryland, Pittsburgh in Pennsylvania and Cincinnati in Ohio. Aside from these most basic of facts, the well quickly runs dry.
I was tempted to include Detroit in the mix because it has the same vibe in my mind, but I know more about it than the other three - medium to high crime rate, a large automotive industry (immortalized in David Plowden's photography book Industrial Landscape), and of course Robocop. I'm not speaking ill of Detroit when it comes to the crime rate, once again I'm donating my first impressions.

There's just a modicum of intrigue and secrecy about Baltimore, Pittsburgh and Cincinnati to me, someone who's grown up in Canada and rarely visited the States. I'm not trying to be whimsical, I'm only trying to be honest and critical of my own views.

And all the cool kids shout out, "No one cares!"

Plese leave comments so I can increase my popularity at school. They'll like me once they get to know me, I just need an 'in'. So no one will take me aside and say, "You're trying too hard."

The Tyndall Effect.

What's up, John? You pointed out the fact that I need new entries here and I've responded because I'm cool like that (even though I have an English paper, a science experiment, and four final exams to complete from the 20th to the 27th). See you in about 12 days, blood.




Kiki Smith is a great artist. And Nan Goldin, who is a great photographer, took the photo. And yes, I know this website seems to only be a showcase of my tastes instead of my work but this will change in the summer months...

P.S. And the Amazon link has been revitalized as well. I just clicked on it to see if it still worked and it didn't, who knows for how long, who knows how this negatively influenced my reputation/credibility as an author...

New content?

Coming soon...

...As you can see, the hype machine is in full effect. Like billboards that initially display cryptic phrases that eventually become full-on advertising slogans...

...No, but seriously, in the midst of university work ("The reason you go to college is to learn how not to work" - An Albatross), I'm just not sure what to put up next on the site. But hopefully I'll be able to come across something interesting soon..

...something like this , maybe...

...with a discussion to follow.

P.S. The title photo is by Jeff Wall, and no, that's not me in the photo.

Fine arteeste.

I watched My Kid Could Paint That a couple of days ago and thought about this Kids in the Hall sketch. I don't know if I can recommend the movie due to how it cast me in uncertainty regarding how much Marla, the girl who paints, was being helped with her work. But I can, on the other hand, recommend this sketch. And I know this has nothing to do with writing and literature, which is what I'm focused on; I just find art interesting. And isn't writing a blog about sharing your interests so that internet watchdogs can report back to their marketing companies?

Reading at the University of Toronto.

Last night I read two passages from Disassociation at the Hart House at the U of T. It could've gone better, it could've gone worse, but I was still comfortable nonetheless.

Social Problem photos.

Social Problem is a rare book of paintings by Mark Gonzales. It also contains his first-ever published poetry. It was published in Japan by Little More. When I met Gonz last year at an art show he had, he signed my copy for me, which is shown in the top photo. I took photos of the show as well, but I'm saving that for later. This post and a few future ones will be comprised of photos I've taken of random pages of Social Problem.

Two years and counting.

Two documents of material, all of it going towards my next novel. Three books planned after I finally finish this one. But this novel I'm writing now deserves the appropriate amount of time and energy required to make it the best I can make it. I don't know when it'll be done - most likely a little while after I receive my degree - but I've been working on it for the past two years and will be for years to come.

Dinosaur Jr. concert June 2007

Random photos.

My current workspace - the kitchen of my apartment. I cut off/shaved my beard three days ago.



Powerful graffiti on the streets of New York in Manhattan, when I was there last summer.



Photo of a burning apartment building I took, from the window of my previous apartment building. I was living in Ottawa at the time. Strange days.

Sure, go ahead.

This is exactly what I don't need to see at this point in my life. I want to share my work but quotes like this only add more stress to my already decrepit idea of my future. But what do I know? Sure, I'll go ahead and share more of my writing. Then people who are better connected than I am will happily copy me and will not give me credit. I've always held originality to be one of the most important details of any artistic endeavor. Of course there's the idea of intertextuality, but that should have its place. Intertextuality is different from blatantly stealing fresh ideas from other people. And in this world, where it feels like everything's been done before (so there's no need to try and create new boundaries and ideas), if you're going to MAKE IT as an artist you need to be ruthless, survival of the fittest, crush anyone and everyone you can and make it to the top of the heap.
As for me? "Sorry buddy, you were too trusting, it's dog eat dog out here. Too bad you don't have an agent or any connections. Too bad you thought that exposing your work to the public would actually amount to something positive. Life isn't fair. Go do something else. Forget about your talents, dreams, ambitions and efforts. We need to live too."